People. It doesn't matter if they say one sentence to you, or just smile at you. People shape you. Your life, your sense of being, even just the way you carry yourself for that second or day. Once you start to think about it, you'll feel a lot of nostalgia for everything that has ever happened; Lovers past, checkout clerks smiling at you, bus drivers. And if you let yourself think on it for too long, you become engulfed in a nostalgia that's sometimes so overwhelming that it takes your breath from your chest.
You start to remember things; That girl you fell in love with on the bus one time, you fixate on the way her hair fell across her face, or the way the trees threw shadows on her dress, you become so obsessed you start to make things up just so you have more to focus on. The postman's friendly smile because something so real, so complete, that you're stuck with the image until sleep robs you of it.
And dreams. Dreams can cling to us for the entire day. Longer, if we let ourselves dwell. A dream can affect you deeper than a person, because a dream is something personal. Dreams are things we create, we cherish, we run them through our minds as best to remember them. Yet when does nostalgia become dangerous? In remembering, do we risk losing what is happening in the now?
25.2.12
I'm too Busy to Stop.
"I'm so busy with everything
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older"
-Amanda Palmer, In My Mind.
That I don't look at anything
But I'm sure I'll look when I am older"
-Amanda Palmer, In My Mind.
Life is something that is so very, very short. It's precious. It doesn't matter how long or short it is, in the reality of everything else, it's ridiculously short. My father owns shoes that are older than I am. Yet, for all I know, those shoes may out last me.
My mother died when I was 7. And that's made me realise that life is not something we take for granted. Every day we must create moments that will be remembered. Every second is a chance to create something beautiful. It doesn't matter about your financial situation, how short you are, how tall you are, your eye color, your weight... You are alive, and as such you should live. Grab life by the testicles and give it what it's worth. Yes, you could have it better, but you could also have it worse.
Is your heart beating? Then you have it a lot better than anyone whose heart has stopped. Do you have your feet, your legs? Then you have it a lot better than anyone who doesn't. Anything you have, no matter how little it may seem, is a blessing. Treat each day as though you are grateful for those blessings, because you should be.
Take time to stop, and look around. Take time from every day to breathe, to be, to just exist. Take time to live.
My mother died when I was 7. And that's made me realise that life is not something we take for granted. Every day we must create moments that will be remembered. Every second is a chance to create something beautiful. It doesn't matter about your financial situation, how short you are, how tall you are, your eye color, your weight... You are alive, and as such you should live. Grab life by the testicles and give it what it's worth. Yes, you could have it better, but you could also have it worse.
Is your heart beating? Then you have it a lot better than anyone whose heart has stopped. Do you have your feet, your legs? Then you have it a lot better than anyone who doesn't. Anything you have, no matter how little it may seem, is a blessing. Treat each day as though you are grateful for those blessings, because you should be.
Take time to stop, and look around. Take time from every day to breathe, to be, to just exist. Take time to live.
20.2.12
An unstoppable force and an immovable object.
I am very opinionated tonight. I apologise for that.
Love. We all want it. Whether from friends, family, or lovers. And how do we want it, from lovers, that is?
Suddenly. Instantly. Eyes locking, hearts racing, palms sweating, everything falling in to place in that one moment. It happens as if it was always meant to happen, as if there was nothing else in life but this one thing you were... created to do. It happens and you become engulfed in something so entire that you realise everything else was never this, and this is It.
H: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
Heck: [thinks for a few seconds, then replies] I haven't got a bastard clue, I'm afraid.
Tessa: There you are, you see. Now we can let him get married in peace.
[She starts to lead H to the church to find a seat for the wedding]
Luce: [Catches H before Tessa can take her away completely] It never happens. If there's a thing that can't be stopped, it's not possible for there to be something else which can't be moved, and vice versa. They can't both exist. You see, it's a trick question is the answer.
Heck: [thinks for a few seconds, then replies] I haven't got a bastard clue, I'm afraid.
Tessa: There you are, you see. Now we can let him get married in peace.
[She starts to lead H to the church to find a seat for the wedding]
Luce: [Catches H before Tessa can take her away completely] It never happens. If there's a thing that can't be stopped, it's not possible for there to be something else which can't be moved, and vice versa. They can't both exist. You see, it's a trick question is the answer.
Love. We all want it. Whether from friends, family, or lovers. And how do we want it, from lovers, that is?
Suddenly. Instantly. Eyes locking, hearts racing, palms sweating, everything falling in to place in that one moment. It happens as if it was always meant to happen, as if there was nothing else in life but this one thing you were... created to do. It happens and you become engulfed in something so entire that you realise everything else was never this, and this is It.
And something happens; some complication. It stops you and your true, instant-and-amazing love from being together. Something like a partner already, or sexuality being a question, or wealth, or distance, or your own painful and dreadful social anxieties that mean the most you can manage is a stuttered "Hello" every time you have the chance to open your mouths around one another.
And then, just as you're starting to see no way around your predicament... something happens. Something magickal, unexplainable, wonderful... It leaves you a path to go bolting for your sweetheart without a second glance back. And then everything is perfect. You have those silly little tiffs over who sits where, or who's cuddling who. Your families accept everything and everyone. You reconcile with those you hurt and pretend like the hurt never happened.
And then, just as you're starting to see no way around your predicament... something happens. Something magickal, unexplainable, wonderful... It leaves you a path to go bolting for your sweetheart without a second glance back. And then everything is perfect. You have those silly little tiffs over who sits where, or who's cuddling who. Your families accept everything and everyone. You reconcile with those you hurt and pretend like the hurt never happened.
But that's not real. What I've just described is movie love. Yet we still search for it. There's still a secret part of us that longs to be thrown into a complicated but easily solvable situation that the cinemas show. The romantic in us wishes with all of our hearts that just because we're with someone now, or of a certain inclination at the moment, doesn't mean we can't find that One True Love. Yet since we're always searching... How do we know when we've found what we were looking for?
Nuu yurrz rusurlooshunz
51 days into the new year. I wonder how many resolutions have been broken, how many people are disappointed that they broke them, how many "try agains" have happened. The answer? Too many. If you really, truly wanted to change something about yourself, you wouldn't wait a whole year, or wait for a particular time, to start changing those things that you do not like.
You're too much of a bitch? Great; Recognise the issues, work through them, become better.
You're too fat? Okay; Set up a diet regime, an exercise plan, and be dedicated.
What's that? You've got to wait until the year ends and another begins until you can?
I'm sorry, that shit don't wash with me. If you are that stressed, that bothered, by something that you have or don't have in life; CHANGE IT. Not in a month, not in a year, not in a day, not even in an hour... You get on to fixing what is wrong, right now, else it was never really wrong in the first place.
You're too much of a bitch? Great; Recognise the issues, work through them, become better.
You're too fat? Okay; Set up a diet regime, an exercise plan, and be dedicated.
What's that? You've got to wait until the year ends and another begins until you can?
I'm sorry, that shit don't wash with me. If you are that stressed, that bothered, by something that you have or don't have in life; CHANGE IT. Not in a month, not in a year, not in a day, not even in an hour... You get on to fixing what is wrong, right now, else it was never really wrong in the first place.
TL,DR; I'm a lazy cynical realist and most people are idiots.
To be proper, and such...
I suppose I should introduce myself. I go by the name of Charlie, I like the pronouns "they", "ze", "hir", and sometimes even "it". My favorite color is purple, and my favorite food is anything that's bad for me. I am a lot of things, but interesting is not one of them. I don't think my age is important. Sometimes I type like an old, educated, posh person; other times I squee and cry and act like a squirrel hyped up on energy drinks.
Maybe you'll like me, maybe you won't. Only time will tell.
Maybe you'll like me, maybe you won't. Only time will tell.
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